Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives….they have turned to easier methods…but they had not learned enough humility…
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS pp. 72-73
Humility sounds so much like humiliation, but it really is the ability to look at myself-and honestly accept what I find. I no longer need to be the ‘smartest’or ‘dumbest’ or any other ‘est’. Finally, it is okay to be me. It is easier for me to accept myself if I share my whole life. If I cannot share in meetings, then I had better have a sponsor-someone with whom I can share those ‘certain facts’ that could lead me back to a drunk, to death. I need to take all the Steps. I need the Fifth Step to learn true humility. Easier methods do not work.
We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS pp.73-74
Honesty, like all virtues, is to be shared. It began after I shared “…[my] whole life’s story with someone…” in order to find my place in the Fellowship. Later I shared my life in order to help the new comer find his place with us. This sharing helps me to learn honesty in all my dealings and to know that God’s plan for me comes true through honest openness and willingness.
Somehow, being alone with God doesn’t seem as embarrassing as facing up to another person. Until we actually sit down and talk aloud about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to clean house is still largely theoretical.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS p. 60
It wasn’t unusual for me to talk to God, and myself, about my character defects. But to sit down, face to face, and openly discuss these intimacies with another person was much more difficult. I recognized in the experience, however, a a similar relief to the one I had experienced when I first admitted I was an alcoholic. I began to appreciate the spiritual significance of the program and that this Step (5) was just introduction to what was yet to come in the remaining seven Steps.
HEALING HEART AND MIND
Admitted to God. To ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS p.55
Since it is true that God comes to me through people, I can see that by keeping people at a distance I also keep God at a distance. God is nearer to me than I think and I can experience Him by loving people and allowing people to love me. But I can neither love not be loved if I allow my secrets to get in the way.
It’s the side of myself that I refuse to look at that rules me. I must be willing to look at the dark side in order to heal my mind and heart because that is the road to freedom. I must walk into darkness to find the light and walk into fear to find peace.
By revealing my secrets-and thereby ridding myself of guilt-I can actually change my thinking; by altering my thinking, I can change myself. My thoughts create my future. What I will be tomorrow is determined by what I think today.